…I’m Never Coming Down
That day is coming soon, I can feel it. It’s not like one of those things that you think is going to happen, or that you hope will. This is different. I know it’s going to happen. I look around at most everyone I know, especially people I work with, and I see the same kinds of things, the same stories, the same results. The day lates. The dollar shorts. The also rans. They’re all telling themselves they’re happy. Well, I’ll be the first to say, I’m not. Not yet. But, I’m not just going to keep telling myself I am, longingly hoping that one day it will happen. Hoping that if I tell myself I am happy enough times, I’ll convince myself that it’s true. I’ve never been that kind of person. There’s something out there, I know there is. It’s said that as a man thinketh, so is he. I never understood this statement, never bought it. Dreamers get nothing, but more sleep than the rest of us. So, let me change that statement, as a man doeth, so is he. There. Fixed it. No, it still isn’t right. How about this, what a man worketh for, so gets he. Better? Yes. But still not complete. How about this? As a man toileth over, cryeth for, sweateth about, bleedeth due to, obsesseth over, exhausteth means in order to achieve, giveth up his life, limb and liberty for, and devoteth every ounce of energy to, so he will not be denied. Still dreaming? Well, wake up and smell the roses, cause that’s the second place bouquet. Now look up. That’s me on the first place platform, get it?
‘Nuff Said.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Is it so Wrong?
I’m taking 13 credit hours this semester, I’m trying to stay in shape by doing P90X every morning, I have countless hours of homework, that there is no way I will ever get caught up on, (or so it seems) on top of all that I work 35 hours a week, and we BARELY scrape by. Is it so wrong of me to want something better? Honestly, is it totally immoral to wish for a more comfortable, worry-free life? Truth be told I’d settle for a life that’s not as terrifying, filled with, “are we going to be able to pay all the bills this month?” It’s true, I know, money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can pay the rent. I make $9.00 an hour and my place of employment, which I have been currently working extremely hard at, is not giving raises. I’ve been there a year and a half, and there is no raise in sight. I’m exhausted at night, and have even resorted to taking one day off a week so that I can be at 4:30 am, only to get some exercise, do eight hours of homework and then rush out the door to be in class for several hours.
I have friends getting grants left and right, scholarships, inheritances, and the kicker is, they don’t need the money. I do. When I go for a grant or a scholarship, it’s, “oh, I’m sorry, you make too much.” Yeah, I have to make this much, my wife and I don’t live an extravagant lifestyle, but we also don’t want to be homeless. We barely fit in this tiny one-bedroom apartment. This can really put a strain on people we love with all the help they give us, and that eats away at me every day.
With all this in mind, I was at the book store a few weeks ago, when I came across a book called, “Hold ‘Em Wisdom For All Players,” by Daniel Negreanu, and I rediscovered poker. I read his book and have currently read another book on poker and started a third. I’ve so far played eight hours and made more than what I would normally make at my job in the same span of time. So, is this wrong? It was fun, and it was easy. The money helped out a lot! We NEED that. I’m not looking to make so much money that I can buy a mansion, or some kind of expensive car. Truthfully, I just want to have some kind of income that doesn’t make me physically exhausted, leaves me energy to do some homework every night, gives me TIME to actually do that homework, and doesn’t have me living on pins and needles about bills. So, far only one pathway has presented itself. Is there another? There isn’t that I have seen. I don’t want to hear the old clichés about rolling the sleeves up and putting in an honest hard day’s work, being frugal, and all that bull s@#%, ‘cause I’ve tried it. It doesn’t work, it leaves me mentally and physically spent. Is it that something has to give? Do I need to sacrifice my health to get an education? Sacrifice my education to stay healthy? Or sacrifice my wife and my financial stability for the two? This isn’t how it should be. Is it possible for me to make this new hope work? I’m not looking for fame or fortune, just something to put me through school and put less strain on my wife, who is currently working over 40 hours every week, and put a lot less strain and worry on my loved one, especially my poor mother. Is it wrong for me to try? Is it wrong for me to want this? Until I see a better way, this is the best I have come up with. I guess I’m looking for some support here. So, with all this in mind I’m asking, is it wrong?
I can’t think of why it would be.
‘Nuff Said.
I have friends getting grants left and right, scholarships, inheritances, and the kicker is, they don’t need the money. I do. When I go for a grant or a scholarship, it’s, “oh, I’m sorry, you make too much.” Yeah, I have to make this much, my wife and I don’t live an extravagant lifestyle, but we also don’t want to be homeless. We barely fit in this tiny one-bedroom apartment. This can really put a strain on people we love with all the help they give us, and that eats away at me every day.
With all this in mind, I was at the book store a few weeks ago, when I came across a book called, “Hold ‘Em Wisdom For All Players,” by Daniel Negreanu, and I rediscovered poker. I read his book and have currently read another book on poker and started a third. I’ve so far played eight hours and made more than what I would normally make at my job in the same span of time. So, is this wrong? It was fun, and it was easy. The money helped out a lot! We NEED that. I’m not looking to make so much money that I can buy a mansion, or some kind of expensive car. Truthfully, I just want to have some kind of income that doesn’t make me physically exhausted, leaves me energy to do some homework every night, gives me TIME to actually do that homework, and doesn’t have me living on pins and needles about bills. So, far only one pathway has presented itself. Is there another? There isn’t that I have seen. I don’t want to hear the old clichés about rolling the sleeves up and putting in an honest hard day’s work, being frugal, and all that bull s@#%, ‘cause I’ve tried it. It doesn’t work, it leaves me mentally and physically spent. Is it that something has to give? Do I need to sacrifice my health to get an education? Sacrifice my education to stay healthy? Or sacrifice my wife and my financial stability for the two? This isn’t how it should be. Is it possible for me to make this new hope work? I’m not looking for fame or fortune, just something to put me through school and put less strain on my wife, who is currently working over 40 hours every week, and put a lot less strain and worry on my loved one, especially my poor mother. Is it wrong for me to try? Is it wrong for me to want this? Until I see a better way, this is the best I have come up with. I guess I’m looking for some support here. So, with all this in mind I’m asking, is it wrong?
I can’t think of why it would be.
‘Nuff Said.
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