Trying to get published, macaroni and cheese and other random thoughts

I took another sick day from work today. I just can't seem to get by this cold. My throat feels like I've been a professional fire-breather for 30 years. Some good news though, I was able to get a lot done today. I turned my book in to seven literary agents, oh, you don't know about my book yet, do you? I started writing a book somewhere between six and seven years ago and finished it in December of 2008. I spent the last year and half procrastinating and was finally able to turn it in today. I'm not expecting much, I'm not sure how good or interesting it is. I'm just hoping that someone will want to pay me enough to put me through college. That's all I'm asking, though fortune and fame would not be too bad either.
Until then, I'm stuck at a warehouse job paying just over minimum wage and with a cold that doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon. But at least I have a job huh? There are a lot of people that can't even say that.
Getting to the Macaroni and Cheese bit, I'm thinking about having that for lunch. I had it for dinner last night, and it's kind of a juvenile meal, but oh well, it tastes good, it's easy to make and it doesn't tell me my book isn't good enough. Ha ha. Thanks Writer's House Literary Agency for the motivation to climb to just above mediocrity, the Thied family motto.
Until then, 'Nuff Said.

Homophobes Are Just Pissed 'Cause They Can't Get Laid (My Coming Out Party)

Homophobia as defined by, Webster's New World Dictionary of American English; Third College Edition, published 1991, is: "irrational hatred or fear of homosexuals or homosexuality."

We'll get to my definition of the word in just a little bit, but first I inevitably have to get something out of the way. My coming out party, hold on there Mom, not that kind of a coming out party. If I'm going to have readers of my blog of all walks of life, there is one thing you must know about me. I am a moderate liberal, there I said it. I do not buy in to the conservative ideals of the crazy Christian right. This blog will be riddled with biases and subjectivity, but at least I'm not hiding it, saying I'm objective like Fox News does. What I'm about to write is going to be a defense for homosexuality, I myself am straight as an arrow, and what I am about to say is said, as George Costanza put it, "with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality." My view of homosexuality is a strange way of life with peculiarities that I do not understand, and as Jerry Seinfeld would put it, "not that there's anything wrong with that."
Back to this definition, more importantly the hatred part. It seems today people are using religion as a mask for outright hatred of a particular sect of our society. It's this hate that could potentially tear apart the nation, not the fact that there are two men somewhere in the world participating in sodomy. Really? We're going to worry about that? Who cares? I'll never forget the first time I viewed two homosexual men engage in a public display of affection. I was in the eighth grade and on a family vacation in the Washington D.C. area. My reaction to what unfolded is one that I am ashamed of to this day. I would not have reacted in such a way had it been a heterosexual couple engaging in what these two men were engaging in, and I most definitely would have reacted differently had it been two attractive females, one of the greatest double standards in our culture today. In reflecting back on this incident I find it interesting that my prejudices for the homosexual community all but died out in our nation's capital, the first territory in this nation that slavery was made ultimately illegal throughout in the 19th century. I don't think that is a coincidence. Shortly after that, but still as an adolescent, I was able to make an about-face and change my outlook on homosexuals. I would like to offer an apology to this community everywhere for my actions and reactions to what I saw that night. Though not a single one of you would ever have even known about this had I not confessed these things, I think it is warranted in this situation. Yet, if I, as a teenager, could have this type of epiphany and change the error of my ways, why can't some of the most intelligent people of our day do the same.
The answers are easy.
I say answers because there are two of them, hatred and religion, two of the most effective blinders of logicality and rationality of our time. I'm not saying that religion is necessarily a bad thing, but fanaticism is, and a lot of times it's hard to tell the difference between fanaticism and religious spirituality. Which now brings us to my definition of homophobia;

An ideal brought on through religious fanatics suffering from rational thought neglect syndrome and HIV (horrendous illogicality virus), coupled with the unfounded fear that society will meet its certain end because of homosexuality.

Homophobia is a condition, with symptoms, one suffering from this usual has; an elitist attitude, smugness and the uncanny ability to say things without first thinking them through. Many people suffering from homophobia are religious zealots, posing as rational people. How do they justify their homophobia? Interestingly enough they draw from the Bible, most of them that infamous King James version that William Shakespeare helped spice up. Yes, Shakespeare wrote a great deal of the bible. King James though it wasn't modern enough for the times and commissioned Shakespeare to make it more poetic. Anyone seeing any ties to the Civil Rights movement? If you said The Curse of Hamm, you are exactly right, yes, slave owners, racists and white supremacists all drew on The Curse of Hamm as their divine right to own people, and treat them differently because of the color of their skin. The Curse of Hamm can be found in the bible, and if it's in the bible, and if God's word is unchanging, then why the repeal of The Curse of Hamm? These fundamentalists also use the bible as a means of bashing gays, since society won't allow them to be openly racist, and society still allows for homophobia, they have to cling to some kind of superiority. And what better way to do that than to chastise an entire community living in their own country, their brothers and sisters, for being gay? When, honestly, a lot of homosexuals have higher morals than some hetero's in society today. The bible says it's wrong, so it must be wrong.
But let's look at some other things the bible says. I must state I did not write the following letter, I am merely passing on its satire to you. I think it's an appropriate parallel being drawn to the crazy religious society we live in today. And here it is;

You are correct that god's word in Leviticus does say that homosexuality is wrong. It also says a lot of things that don't relate to modern life, and the average Christian today would not accept. You cannot be selective in your analysis of the Bible. You cannot use one section to prove your point of view, homosexuality is wrong, and simultaneously ignore the rest of that same exact section of the Bible. Leviticus; slavery is acceptable, for example, or eating shellfish is an abomination.

Dear Dudley Dooright (A Good Majority of the American Christians),
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly rejects it. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them:
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness, Leviticus 15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
When I burn a bull on an alter as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord, Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
Leviticus 21:10 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19:27. How should they die? I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread, a cotton/polyester blend. He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them, Leviticus 24:10-16? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, as we do with people who sleep with their in-laws, Leviticus 20:14?
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Just some food for thought. You do think for yourself, don't you?

Sincerely,

Rational Thought America

And there it is. That's all I really wanted to get across with this blog today. We all have hypocrisies in us, we all have contradictory beliefs. It's when we choose to do nothing about them, or accept them, or even deny them, that we really put this nation in trouble of failing. Our society will, one day crumble, but we can stop that from happening. We just have to recognize and admit that the blame is shouldered by us all, not by certain facets of our society. When you point a finger, four more point right back at you. Let's take initiative and responsibilities for our own actions and flaws and stop blaming everyone else. Until next time, ‘Nuff Said.

Maiden Voyage

What's there to say? I'm a larger than life man trapped in a short hairy boy's body. I was born, I did a few things and now I'm here. One thing that gets me down is, what's the deal with boring weekend nights? I wait all week for the weekend to come and then, when it does, it seems like I just sit in my tiny one-bedroom apartment watching T.V. Is that pathetic? Or is that how most of the world is? I'd like to think I'm not the only one.
There was this one time that I did this one thing on a weekend a while ago. It was with some people and we were doing this thing. I don't remember all the details but all I can say is, it was a blast. Or at least, I think it was. Or maybe not. I'm not even sure what it is I was talking about. Oh wait! No, no, that wasn't it.
Well, anyway, this blog is just going to be a bunch of random thoughts placed in the timeless art of internet importance. You know, one of those real original ideas that people have every second of every day in the cyber world. Or maybe this will be my only entry. Either way, we'll see how things shake out.
Until then, 'Nuff Said.