My Daily (Whatever the Antonymn of Affirmation is)

I recently watched a video on Youtube called “Jessica’s Daily Affirmation”. The positiveness of it made me want to vomit. So, I decided to do something similar, just with my own spin on it. I’m going to be honest, I got this idea from comedian Daniel Tosh on his show Tosh.0. So, without further adieu, here is my first ever “I Hate” blog.
• I hate the Yankees
• I hate my job
• I hate the tea party
• I hate Verizon
• I hate when someone does bunny ears in a picture
• I hate when someone takes a surprise photograph of you
• I hate when people take too many pictures
• I hate it when I’m driving on the freeway and someone starts drifting in my lane
• I hate it when you’re driving in the fast lane going 75 on a two-lane highway and the diesel in the right lane decides he’s going to pass the diesel in front of him because the guy in front of him can only go 43 miles per hour, while he is cruising at 47, so he gets over right in front of me to pass the other guy. (This is particularly annoying when there isn’t anyone behind me for miles.)
• I hate waiting for people to get ready
• I hate Geico and Progressive commercials, the googly eye stack of money isn’t funny, it never was
• I hate that freecreditreport.com decided they needed to change their band, they were fine the way they were, don’t fix what isn’t broken
• I hate soccer
• I hate that I need a degree to achieve my career goals and it keeps getting harder to become a teacher in the state of Utah, meanwhile every pedophile and creep can somehow get jobs as teachers and then everyone is surprised when they get busted having an inappropriate relationship with one of their students or child pornography on their computer
• I hate Mad TV
• I hate Scrubs
• I hate Larry the Cable Guy
• I hate Jeff Dunham
• I hate Jeff Foxworthy
• I hate Bill Engvall
• I hate people who love these comedians, yet they haven’t ever heard of comedians like Mike Birbiglia or Demetri Martin, the Blue Collar Comedy Tour isn’t funny, neither is Akhmed, “I keel you,” isn’t funny, if you haven’t heard anything by Mike Birbiglia, I don’t respect your comedic opinion, if you think any of the afore mentioned “comedians” are funny, I don’t respect your opinion period
• I hate Creed
• I hate Christian rock
• I hate Daughtery
• I hate American Idol
• I hate Dave Matthews Band
• I hate that stupid Owl City song about fireflies that plays on the radio every 17 seconds
• I hate country music
• I hate Toby Keith
• I hate Edward
• I hate Jacob
• I hate Twilight, let’s face it, this is just the new dime novel, wish Van Hellsing would do us all a favor and put an arrow from his cross bow through that fagot vampire's heart
• I hate touching moments interfering with my sporting events
• I hate the UFC
• I hate MMA
• I hate the WNBA, if I want to see a group of basketball players missing shots at point blank range, I’ll go to my local Gold’s Gym, it’s free-er
• I hate Gold’s Gym
• I hate the World Cup, I’m glad it’s over, finally ESPN can start reporting on real sports
• I hate NASCAR
• I hate Lady Gaga
• I hate fat chicks that dress skanky and then say things like, “I’m just proud of what God gave me.” Pretty sure it wasn’t God, think Dave Thomas had more to do with it, God rest his soul
• I hate parents that have kids, that they have no intention of ever being responsible for. We go through boot camp to get a driver license, yet the opportunity to destroy a human being from birth is completely free, sounds like it’s time for the government to step in
• I hate blogs
• I hate bloggers
• I hate blogging
Okay, I’m pretty sure I’ve offended everyone, if you feel left out, take solace in this, there’s a pretty good chance that deep down, I hate something about you. If you’re still reading, it’s your turn, tell me what you hate. I look forward to hearing from you, even those cyber stalkers that I know read my blog because I see the stats piling up, yet none of you are leaving comments. I hate that the most.
‘Nuff Said.